Finding Pride Page 7

  “He would be very proud of you. He was always proud of you, but this was something he’d dreamed you would want to be a part of. Ever since he first came up with the idea, he wanted you to move here, you know.”

  “I—he hadn’t mentioned it to me. I had some…issues to deal with on my own.” She pulled her hand back and folded them in her lap, feeling the guilt spread again.

  In truth, after the divorce, she’d needed to feel like she could make it on her own. Then, after the disaster last month, she’d made up her mind to move to Oregon, to move in with her brother. But she had wanted to wait until she’d healed before letting her brother see her. Now she would do anything to change that decision.

  “I should have been here,” she said more to herself than to Todd.

  “You couldn’t have changed anything. And you could have both been in the car that night when the trucker lost control.” He was right, she knew it, yet that didn’t stop the guilt.

  “Let’s go take a walk.” He stood and helped her put on her coat.

  It was a chilly night, but it hadn’t rained that afternoon, so it was warmer than the other nights. As they walked out onto the pier, she took a deep breath. She could smell the salt water and the food from the restaurant. The night was clear, and they could see all the stars in the sky. She pulled her jacket closer to her. It was hard since she was unable to put her right arm through the sleeves, so she left it tucked up close to her body. She couldn’t wait until the cast came off.

  ********

  Lacey shivered when they walked out, so Todd pulled her closer and put his arm around her shoulders lightly. “How’s the back?” he asked in an easy tone.

  “Oh, much better. That stuff you gave me really does help. I think I’ve gone from purple to green in record time.” She blushed and turned her face towards the sea.

  Putting his fingers under her chin, he brought her face back to his. “Megan, you can talk to me. I won’t judge and I won’t hurt you.”

  “I know. Your whole family has been so good to me. I—I’m not ready. I want to start my new life and forget the past. Can you understand?” she said, looking up into his eyes.

  “I’m here if you decide you need to talk. We all are. You may think that you’re alone, but you don’t have to be.” He ran his finger lightly down the side of her neck. Pulling her closer, he felt her shiver again, this time not from the wind.

  ********

  Her life had been a circus the last couple weeks. She could tell herself she didn’t need anyone now, but the fact was, being held had never felt so good. Being a part of his family had opened something she’d long ago closed up and forgotten.

  Todd was warm. She could feel the heat radiating from him, which caused her to shiver again. He pulled her close. Her encased arm was tucked between their bodies and she could feel his stomach muscles bunch and flex against her hand. Then he pulled back and looked down at her. Her eyes darted once to his mouth, which instantly rose up on one side in a small smile. His mouth was very potent. She remembered the heat his lips had branded her with earlier that day.

  “I feel something for you, Megan. I don’t know what it is yet, but it’s there.” He lowered his head towards hers.

  The kiss was soft, warming her to the toes. She put her free arm around him, wishing that her other one was free to do the same. She thought that it would be like the first kiss, but this time, it was slower, more intense. She started shaking again.

  “Let me come home with you,” he said softly into her hair, minutes later.

  She could imagine it, the two of them intertwined. Hadn’t she dreamed about it since their first meeting? What would it be like to take a casual lover? Could she afford to allow him in? Could she trust him, and more importantly, could she trust herself?

  “No.” It slipped from her lips. The one word stopped him; she knew the fear was written in her eyes this time. Pulling his head back, he took in her whole face. Her shoulders were tensed and she pulled away. This time he let her go.

  “I can’t do this Todd, not now.” She leaned against the railing, once again raising her eyes towards the dark skies. “I’m a wreck. I just want to pull myself together. I can’t get involved now. Can you understand?”

  He walked over and leaned his hip against the railing next to her, looking into her face instead of the ocean. “I’m not in any hurry.” She jerked her head around to face him. When he continued to stare at her, she turned back around to face the ocean. They stood there, she looking out over the dark water and he looking at her, in silence for a while.

  ********

  Iian had watched them leave. He knew his brother had a hard time when it came to relationships. It had only been five years since Sara had died along with their unborn baby girl. His brother hadn’t even gone out on a date since then. There was something special about Megan, and the whole Jordan clan knew it. It was more than her fitting in; she was part of the family, already.

  When he’d seen her in the muddy graveyard, broken and crying, he had wanted to pick her up and comfort her as a brother would. But he knew Todd had other feelings for her; he’d seen it that first night in the living room. He knew his brother a little better after losing his hearing. After all, some of his senses had become sharper. But one thing was clear; Todd had already lost his heart to Megan. Now he only needed to help Megan find hers.

  ********

  The house was filled with lights when Todd arrived back home after dropping Megan off. He enjoyed living with his brother and sister sometimes, but tonight he wished for some time alone. So instead of walking back to the house, he turned and walked to the barn to check on Chester.

  Chester was a black shire horse. He was a great big beast he had fallen in love with at first sight. He’d gotten him years ago to help work the fields. Of course, he had also purchased a John Deere that year as well. But Chester was his connection to the old ways. He enjoyed riding the gentle giant through the fields, taking the time to groom him and care for him. Chester played a huge part in Todd’s stress relief.

  As Todd walked into the barn, Chester gave him a snort of acknowledgment. “Good evening. How’s my big boy?” he walked over to the stall and gave Chester a carrot. “I’ll let you in on a secret,” Todd said, leaning on Chester’s neck while patting him. “I think I’m in big trouble, and I just might like it.”

  Chapter Six

  “A hot tub?” Megan’s head began to swim.

  She’d gone to the local hardware and lumber store to pick up some paint and supplies she needed to start work on the cabins. While she was there, the owner, a Mr. Kent, had informed her that Matt had ordered several larger items and that they would be in next week. He had been instructed to deliver and setup these items. When Megan asked what supplies they were, Mr. Kent smiled.

  “Well, it’s that tub he ordered last month. He wanted to put it on that new deck he built off his bedroom. He spent all last summer building that thing with the Jordan boys; it turned out pretty nice. He also ordered a couple of small refrigerators, fancy bath tubs, and sinks for those other two cabins of his, real expensive ones, too. They’re supposed to be in on Tuesday. I’ll give you a call when they come in, and we could start installing them the next day if you want.” She had known about the other appliances, having seen the receipts in her file. But she hadn’t known about the hot tub. Then it hit her. Next week! This wouldn’t give her a lot of time to get everything done.

  Twenty minutes later, she was leaving the hardware store with the help of two young employees. The young high school boys helped her put the items into the Jeep and quickly ran back into the store. Her vehicle was now weighed down with paint, a paint sprayer, some tarps, stain, and some tools she thought she would need.

  She took a look around the small town. Every time she came into town, she found more reasons to like it. People were walking around Main Street. There was a small barbershop, and three older men sat out front smoking. It reminded her of a picture she
’d seen on a calendar once.

  Across the street was a quaint little antique store with a small sign that read “Adams’ Antiques” hanging above the door.

  Megan headed for it. She’d been enjoying the quiet and seclusion of the house, but her new life wouldn’t really start until she made herself part of this town, and she was determined to make her new life here work.

  The townspeople seemed very open and welcoming to her. People waved or said, “Hi,” when she walked by. Maybe it was because Matt had made a good impression, but she could do her part to fit in.

  A bell chimed as she walked through the door of the shop. A young woman was sitting behind the counter. She had a paintbrush in one hand and a phone in the other. Nodding “hello” towards her, Megan started walking around the small store. She immediately found items she wanted for the cabins. There were small statues, some of children dancing in a circle around a fire, one of a lone wolf howling up at a moon. Megan noticed some brass candlesticks and an oak coat rack. She picked out a small writing desk, a couple of benches, and some other items that she wanted.

  “If you need any help let me know,” the woman said after hanging up the phone. “You’re Matt’s sister, Megan, right?” When Megan nodded, the woman continued. “I’m Allison Adams. I knew your brother. He was a good man.” She stepped out from behind the counter with the paintbrush still in hand. She wore a white apron covered in paint over her blouse and jeans. She was probably six foot tall and had medium honey hair that was shoulder length. She had a figure that came straight off of a magazine cover.

  “Thank you. Your store is lovely,” Megan said, feeling small and plain. “I’m interested in this statue here, those candlesticks, this coat rack, and do you happen to have another coat rack like this one?” She looked around and noticed some other items she pointed out to Allison.

  “Fixing up the cabins?” When Megan nodded again, she said, “That’s good. I have another coat rack in the back. It isn’t oak though, it’s maple,” she said, walking to a back room.

  Megan walked into a small room and noticed several paintings leaning against the walls “Are these yours?” Megan asked, stepping in and looking around.

  “It’s a hobby of mine. Keeps me busy during the slow hours.” Noticing Megan’s interest, she continued. “Would you like to see them?” she asked, motioning Megan further into the room.

  “I’d love to.” There were paintings as big as a wall, and ones that could fit in the palm of her hands. There was artwork in oil, watercolor, chalk, and pencil. Their topics ranged from fairytale creatures to local buildings and people. There was also a charcoal of the town. The oils were in dark, rich colors. They were all top quality and beautifully done, most of them more beautifully done than the ones Megan had seen at the Golden Oar.

  “You did all of these?” Megan asked while walking around. She saw a charcoal of the three men sitting outside the barbershop next door and let out a laugh.

  “Yeah, well there are a lot of slow hours around here,” Allison said with a half smile.

  She found several paintings that would go great in the cabins and one she wanted in her bedroom. She really liked the pixies and small winged creatures that completely covered one huge canvas.

  “Do you…would you sell any of these?” Megan asked, looking over her shoulder.

  “Well, I’ve never sold any before,” she said, chewing her bottom lip. “Well, except to my mother, of course. I guess I could part with some. Which ones are you interested in?”

  Megan took her time setting paintings aside. She had picked out the wall of pixies and a couple small watercolors of a pack of wolves running in front of a full moon. She also picked an oil painting of the bay, a charcoal of the town, the one of the old men, and six other oil paintings.

  “All of these?” Allison asked, sounding a little winded.

  “Yes, I love these. I must have them. Do you happen to know where I can buy frames?” Megan asked, trying to not sound too eager.

  “I can order frames for you. I have a book we can look through and pick them out,” she said, walking back to the front of the store.

  For the next hour, the two women leaned over a book of frames. They picked a frame out for each picture she had purchased. Megan found she liked picking out these little details for the cabins. It made her feel that she was really starting to find herself. When they had picked out the last frame, she looked up into Allison’s sparkling eyes and something hit her. She not only was feeling really good about herself, she’d made Allison feel good about herself as well. Maybe she wasn’t the only person in town who needed another chance.

  “You know, I bet that if you had the other paintings framed, you could sell them here in your store,” Megan said.

  “Well, no one has been interested in my stuff before,” Allison said, chewing her bottom lip again.

  “I bet you would sell them like crazy if you could get them in art galleries in Portland. City tourists go crazy about local artists. I actually know someone who owns a gallery in Portland and Seattle.”

  “Oh, thank you, that’s very kind, but…well…I don’t think my art is good enough for a gallery and well…” Her statement dropped away.

  “Nonsense, it’s better than a lot of that stuffy art I’ve seen in a lot of galleries. I bet you anything your art sells faster than…well…anything,” Megan said, smiling over the counter at Allison.

  Allison’s whole face lit up. “You really think other people would buy it?”

  “I’ve been in the marketing business for years. I know when I find something that would be easy to sell. You have a lot of talent. I think people would love your art. I know I do,” she said smiling. “And I was thinking about the possibility of commissioning you to do a couple more, an oil painting of each of my cabins. That is, after I have finished the landscape work and repairs. I would also like to have one done of the main house. You can have business cards printed and place them in the corner of each painting I hang up so that my customers will know about your store.”

  “You really are like your brother, aren’t you?” Allison said, leaning back in her chair.

  With all the items that Megan had purchased, including a dozen of her paintings and frames, Allison claimed to have the biggest sales day she had ever had.

  An hour later, Allison helped Megan carry the smaller items to her rental car with a promise of delivering the larger ones on Friday, and all the paintings after the frames had been delivered.

  ********

  The next morning, Megan was out putting bird food in the new feeder she’d purchased when she heard a lawn mower start up in the front yard. After jumping almost a foot at the sound, she calmed down and dusted herself off and then walked around the house cautiously. Everywhere around the yard, she could see green starting to poke up from the flowerbeds. The weather was getting warmer, and spring was almost here. Reaching the front yard, she noticed Iian pushing an older model mower around the grass. It appeared that he was comfortable doing the job and the grass really did need mowing. Forcing herself to relax, she ran in and made him some iced tea.

  After making the instant tea, she brought a pitcher and two glasses to the covered porch and sat down until he was finished with the front yard.

  When the mower stopped, she poured them both a glass. Iian waved and walked over, sitting down next to her. He drank his tea down in two gulps. His white shirt was sticking to his chest, and what a chest it was. A woman would have to be blind not to appreciate a body like his.

  He set his glass down and signed slowly with each word. “I figured you would need some help with the yard work until your arm is healed.”

  “Thank you. I can get my cast removed next week, so I should be able to start doing more myself,” she said.

  “That’s good. I broke my leg when I was ten. Todd helped me use a saw to cut off the cast a few weeks later. I couldn’t stand having it on; it itched like crazy.”

  “Yes, I’ve almost r
emoved this one myself a few times.” Iian chuckled at her face. She had it bunched up in a sour look.

  “I’m sure I could find an old saw in the garage,” he joked.

  “No, I don’t think I would trust you or your brother with a saw.” At this, Iian exploded in laughter.

  They sat and talked for another half hour, and then Iian finished mowing the backyard and left. She was picking up sign language quickly and enjoyed learning it. He always made a point to help her learn simple words. Being able to only use her good hand didn’t help her learn, but she could do most of the simple words and she muddled through the rest.

  Once she made up her mind to finish the cabins, it seemed to her that her ear was stuck to the phone, with calls to and from electricians, plumbers, and everyone else. Time went by quickly and before she knew it, the contractor trucks were parked in her driveway and there were men hauling stuff out to the cabins.

  On the first morning, it was almost eleven before she was able to have her first cup of coffee. She’d been running back and forth, opening the cabins and showing the contractors around. She was on edge and almost ready to call it quits. Then the coffee had worked into her bloodstream and all seemed right again. The rest of the day went off without a hitch.

  Even when Father Michael stopped by, she dealt with his visit with grace and patience. He seemed somewhat overly protective of her and she enjoyed it. He had of course visited on several occasions before. She’d even had several visits from the churchwomen, as Lacey called them. There was a group of them, all silver haired, frail looking and very overwhelming. She enjoyed their visits, but enjoyed it more after they left and the house was quiet again.