Finding Pride Read online

  Smiling, Megan turned back to Iian in time to see the quick flash of humor in his eyes as he signed something to his sister. She gestured something back to him and hit him on the shoulder in a sisterly way.

  “Come on, Megan. Iian will take care of your car.” They began walking towards the cars as the rain came down harder. Groups of people without umbrellas were quickly sprinting to their vehicles. Others with umbrellas were making their way more slowly.

  When Megan sank into the passenger seat of Lacey’s sedan, chills ran up and down her spine. Lacey got in behind the wheel and started the engine. She turned the heater on full blast, and as it started to warm the inside of the car, Megan felt she could happily fall asleep right there.

  They pulled away from the small church and the now-empty cemetery. The windshield wipers were clearing the rain from her view with a soft squeak, but Megan still felt like she wasn’t able to see much beyond the path that the headlights were cutting through the fog. Then she sat up a little straighter and looked over at Lacey, who had her eyes on the road. Realizing she had just gotten into a stranger’s car, she tensed. What did she really know about this small woman?

  “You don’t need to worry,” Lacey said, not taking her eyes off the road. “I’m not going to kidnap you.” She turned her head slightly and smiled. “We’ll deliver you to your brother’s house before everyone else gets there. I hope you don’t mind, but we invited a few close friends over for potluck. It’s what Matt would have wanted, something small. Your brother was very well liked around town, and people will want to bid him goodbye in this manner.” She smiled sadly.

  “Of course.” She relaxed a little and rested her head against the window, enjoying the soft hum of the engine and the gentle beat of the wipers. By the time they pulled off the main road, the sky was dark; the sun hadn’t come back out before setting for the night.

  “Here we are now.” Lacey parked the car so the headlights hit the house full force. “Matt spent most of the first year remodeling the place. I think you’ll like what he’s done with it.” Lacey smiled at her.

  Looking through the car window, Megan saw a large, white two-story house. Long green shutters sat on either side of picture windows that lined the whole front of the house. The front door was bright red with a brass knocker, and there were stained-glass windows on either side of the door. The windows seemed to glow brightly in the night.

  Following Lacey’s lead, she opened her door, and together they raced for the front porch through the light rain. Standing on the huge, brightly lit covered porch, she watched Lacey open the front door with a key from her own key chain. As they crossed the threshold, Megan’s rental car pulled up in the driveway and parked next to Lacey’s sedan.

  Watching from the doorway, she saw Iian step out of the car along with the silver-blue-eyed man she had seen in the cemetery. Both men looked up to the front door and nodded to her and then stepped behind the rental car and started pulling her overnight bags from the trunk.

  “They’ll get those. Come on inside out of the cold,” Lacey said. She walked towards the back of the house, leaving Megan standing alone in her brother’s doorway.

  Even though her brother had lived here for several years, she’d never visited Oregon before today. There had always been a reason not to visit him. Looking down at the cast on her arm, she realized that this was the reason she’d put off the last visit. The broken arm had been one more thing she had hidden from her brother, and she wished that she hadn’t postponed that last trip.

  Quickly turning into the house, she tried to avoid thinking about her brother and her regrets. Lacey was walking back towards her from the back of a long hallway, rubbing her hands together for warmth.

  Just then, both men walked onto the front porch and shook their heads like dogs, shaking the rain from their hair. They wiped their feet on the wire mat before crossing into the entryway.

  Megan noted that their faces were very similar, yet she could see subtle differences in the men. Their height and weight for one. Iian was slightly taller, with a broader build. And although the brothers shared the same gorgeous eyes, it was the depth of the one brother’s that captured her attention again.

  “Megan, this is my older brother, Todd,” Lacey said from behind her.

  Todd nodded his hello and looked at her, causing warmth to spread throughout her.

  “It’s chilly in here. Will you please start a fire in the living room before the guests arrive?” Lacey asked him.

  Again, a nod was his only reply, and then he turned and went into the dark room to the right without saying a word.

  “Iian,” Lacey said and signed along, “please take those up to Matt’s room and start a fire up there.”

  Lacey walked away, turning on lights as she went. Iian jogged up the curved staircase that sat to the left of the entryway. He had her suitcase in one arm like it weighed nothing and had thrown her overnight bag over his shoulder. It had taken all of her strength to drag those two bags through the airport that morning. His hair was still dripping wet and he was humming to himself. Humming? Megan thought.

  As everyone bustled around, starting fires and turning on lights, Megan stood in the main entryway. She felt useless all over again. Here she was standing in her brother’s home, letting strangers take care of her. Hadn’t she promised herself that she would take care of herself from now on? But she was so tired. She didn’t think that letting these people help her out for one night would hurt.

  Lacey came back into the entryway. “Come on, let’s get you out of that wet coat.” Lacey reached for the rain jacket as Megan flinched away. Slowly Lacey’s hands returned to her side.

  “I’m sorry,” Megan began, looking down at her hands, not wanting to look Lacey in the eyes. “I’m just a bit jumpy and tired I suppose.” She tried to smile. How could she explain she didn’t like to be touched?

  “No need to apologize,” Lacey said, warmly. “You must be overwhelmed. I’m sure a bit hungry by now, too. At any rate, people will start arriving any minute, and I’m sure there will be lots of food.” As Lacey finished those words, the doorbell rang. “Go on in and have a seat by the fire. I’ll take care of this.”

  Lacey pointed Megan in the direction of the two French doors that Todd had disappeared through earlier. Slowly walking towards them, Megan listened as Lacey greeted a group of people. Not really wanting to deal with anyone yet, she slipped inside the softly lit room and sighed as she rested against the wall.

  Todd was across the room, bent over a pile of wood in the fireplace, blowing on flames that had started on some crumpled papers. He’d removed his leather jacket, and she noticed that he was wearing a white dress shirt that was stretched taut over his muscular arms. Powerful, was the word that came to her mind. She was nervous around powerful, so instead of walking over to the warmth of the fire, she turned back towards the doorway and watched Lacey greet everyone.

  She was about to walk out to the hall and try to find the kitchen, when she felt hands lightly placed on her shoulders. Out of reflex, she jumped and spun around, her hand raised in defense.

  “Easy,” Todd murmured. “Let me take your coat; you’re soaking wet.” He held his hands out as one would to a wounded animal.

  Blushing, she said, “I’m sorry. You startled me.” She hung her head and turned around so that he wouldn’t see her face turning red. Her heart was racing and her hands started shaking. It still affected her, being touched.

  Gently, he helped her out of her jacket, being extra careful around her right arm. He hung it next to his coat on an oak rack by the door. When he noticed Lacey watching from the doorway, he said to her, “She can eat by the fire. She’s frozen.”

  Lacey nodded in agreement. “There’s a TV tray over in the corner. Go on, I’ll bring a plate of food in once it’s heated.”

  Father Michael had just walked into the house and was standing in the doorway with a few other people. Todd nodded to them then quickly walke
d her back into the living room under several watchful eyes. His hand gently cupped her good elbow.

  Megan followed him back towards the fireplace where the room was warmer. She held her hand out towards the fire. She hadn’t realized how freezing she was until the warmth hit her, causing her hand to tingle.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how cold I was until now,” she said nervously to the room. She knew Todd was still behind her but didn’t wanted to turn and look at him just yet. Closing her eyes, she let out the breath she’d been holding since he’d touched her. She was nervous around him, around men. When he touched her, however featherlight it was, it was like a power surge rushing through her body. She’d been avoiding getting close to anyone for so long that she knew she was out of practice. Taking a deep breath, she turned to the quiet room.

  “You have his eyes.” He interrupted her thoughts. He stood right inside the doors, his hands buried deep in his pockets as he watched her.

  Megan was about to say something, anything, but just then Iian came into the room with a smile on his face. He stopped and took one look at his brother and then at her and signed something quickly to Todd. She wasn’t sure what he said, but Todd gave his brother a frustrated look and then walked out of the room without saying a word to either of them.

  Iian walked over to her and took her hand in his and said in a rich, warm voice, “Megan, I am very sorry about Matt.”

  Gasping, she realized she wasn’t aware he could speak.

  He smiled slightly. “I can speak. I lost my hearing in an accident when I was eighteen. I don’t do it very often; my brother and sister say I have the most annoying voice.”

  She could hear the little blunders he made with his voice, as if he was out of practice. But he had such a rich, deep voice, so much like his brother’s.

  Speaking slowly and making sure to keep her face directed at his, she said, “You have a wonderful voice, rich and warm. Thank you for taking care of my luggage and starting a fire upstairs.”

  He smiled, while still holding her hand in his warm one. “You’re chilled. Come over and sit down.” He pulled her towards a dark-colored couch near the fireplace. “Lacey is still greeting people, but I’m sure you’ll have a plate of food in front of you in no time. I’ll sit with you and keep you company until then.”

  ********

  Back in the kitchen, Todd was helping his sister with the food, but his mind was back in the living room. He’d guessed by the look in Megan’s eyes and the way she had jumped at his light touch that someone had hurt her, and recently too. The look on her face was heartbreaking, and he didn’t care to see it on Matt’s little sister. He was glad she’d turned away when she had, so she couldn’t see the sadness and anger that had come into his eyes. Had Matt known this was going on? What she’d been going through? He didn’t think so, but that didn’t keep him from wanting to hunt someone down for the pain they had caused her.

  His sister had seen the look on his face; she always saw everything. She had shaken her head at him and discreetly signed to him not to look so serious, that he might scare her. He’d quickly dropped his eyes and hidden it. He’d been so concerned about her, he hadn’t even realized that his face had shown it.

  Earlier, he’d watched Megan when she’d gone to the fire. She had started to relax and had rolled her shoulders, showing him a hint of her long white neck. He’d felt a flash of desire so strong that he had winced. That was when Iian had entered the room and signed for him not to look so serious. Was he that serious of a person that both his siblings had to warn him about it in one day? He didn’t want to scare Megan, but he couldn’t control the way his emotions played out on his face.

  His brother and sister had a way of seeing things for what they were, which always annoyed him. At this point, he couldn’t even muster up enough strength to go in there and talk with his brother about his feelings. He knew he wouldn’t get anywhere talking about it with Lacey, but he could at least hold his own with Iian.

  Hearing people roam about the house, he could just imagine Iian and Megan in the other room talking. His brother had a way of making women feel very comfortable and at ease. Thinking about them getting together, he realized that maybe he did have enough strength to go talk to his brother about his feelings.

  As he walked towards the kitchen door to go and do just that, Lacey stopped him with one word. “Don’t.”

  He turned to her ready to argue, but she only smiled at him.

  Quickly, he let his breath out in a loud puff.

  “How is it that you can defuse any situation with that smile?” he said, pulling her into a hug. “You drive me nuts.”

  She sighed and hugged him back, resting her head on his chest. “Give her time, Todd. Let Iian talk to her a while. She’s going to need to trust us. She’s had it hard.” Taking a deep breath and a step back, she grabbed a plate of food and handed it to him. “Now, go take this to her and no more strange looks!” She smiled as she pushed him out the door.

  Every bone in his body said that his sister was right, but his blood was boiling so hot he wanted answers. Matt had been like a brother to him, not just his best friend. What hurt Matt, hurt him. He missed his friend and felt sad, angry, and lost about his death. He knew Matt would’ve wanted them to take care of Megan and so he was going to make sure she was taken care of, period.

  He knew that his brother and sister felt the same way about her as he did. Megan was family now. But he couldn’t deny the quick pull he’d felt when he looked into those sea green eyes of hers.

  Chapter Two

  By the time Todd brought her a plate of food, the room was full of strangers. Everyone had quickly greeted her and moved on, and she was sure Lacey had told them to keep it short. The rooms in the house were warming up and with all the food being brought in, the place was starting to smell like heaven.

  As she found out, meat pie was nothing more than a large beef potpie. After eating two helpings, a scoop of potatoes, and some potato salad, and washing it all down with some tea, she felt almost human again. She hadn’t realized she could eat so much; it must have been the long flight and stress. Maybe it was the weather?

  She returned her plate to the kitchen, which was full of older women, and began to wander around the rooms. She heard a baby crying and children playing loudly down the hall. Enjoying the warmth she felt from the people around her, she stopped occasionally and chatted with someone. Most were polite and had nothing but nice things to say about her brother. Matt really had embedded himself in the small town.

  A group of older women approached her, and she smiled at them. “We wanted to welcome you to town and tell you how sorry we are for your loss,” the smallest woman said. She was shorter than Megan and a good deal thinner. Her brown eyes showed sympathy. The other two women chimed in. They were slightly larger, but otherwise looked very similar to the other woman. “We’re the Henderson sisters. We work down at the library. I’m Hanna and these are my sisters Hester and Henrietta.” All three women were dressed similarly in long, flowered skirts, with long sweaters covering their thin frames. “If you need anything at all, please let us know.”

  She nodded but before she could say anything, another sister piped in. It took almost fifteen minutes for the trio to run through their speech, which seemed planned ahead of time. They had talked in detail about the town and most of the people in it, and she had enjoyed every word.

  She must have met more than two dozen people before everything started blurring together. Too many faces and names she knew she wouldn’t remember, so she found a soft chair somewhere and sat down as music started playing in the next room.

  Someone was playing a violin, and the sad song drifted softly in from the TV room. Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes as images of her brother flashed in her mind.

  She recalled all the years it had been just the two of them, all the birthday parties he’d thrown for the little girl she had been. She thought of all the Ch
ristmas presents he’d bought and wrapped, placing them under small trees they had picked out together. She remembered him hovering over her when she was sick with the flu after attending a friend’s slumber party. It seemed like it had always been Matt. She could only vaguely remember her mother and had an even harder time conjuring up an image of her father.

  “I could have the room cleared out in under a minute,” a cheery whisper came from above, interrupting her thoughts. Megan opened her eyes without moving her head; Lacey was leaning over her and looking down at her.

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” She sat up a little straighter. “I was enjoying the music.”

  “Todd plays well,” Lacey said, giving Megan a hand up from the chair.

  “Todd?” she asked. “Todd is playing that?”

  Lacey nodded. “He’s been playing since before I was born. Natural talent; all the Jordan’s have it,” she said, pulling her towards the back room.

  When they reached the hallway, Megan could hear a low male voice singing along with the slow tune. Looking around the room, she noticed Todd was playing next to an old piano that sat in the corner. Iian was facing his brother, singing along with the music.

  Their eyes were locked on each other for timing. Talent didn’t begin to describe a deaf man who could sing like that.

  “He only sings on special occasions. Your brother was deserving of it,” Lacey said, smiling a little. She walked over and stood next to her brothers, singing with a rich smoky voice. The song was unfamiliar to Megan but spoke of lost love. It was soothing and sad. She leaned against the door frame and let the music fill her.

  When the song ended, another one began, and the room and hallway filled up quickly as people made their way from other parts of the house. The chairs and coffee tables were quietly moved aside as they packed into the space.